Sunday, 24 August 2014

At 20 years old, I think I have finally found a place in my life where I am truly content with where I am. I might not always be the happiest person, but I have constantly tried throughout my life to be a positive and kind person. I am incredibly empathetic, and although this may make things hard for me sometimes, I believe it's one of my favourite qualities about myself.

It took me a long time to realise the importance of being kind, not only to others, but also to yourself. I put myself in a relationship for too long with a person who treated me like I came from the pits of hell. Pointing out every one of my flaws, calling me fat just to see my reaction, telling me I was basically nothing for so long - and I took it, because, deep down, I thought I deserved it. Maybe if I was in the same situation now I would say something, then again, maybe I would take it again. When you really, truly believe you love someone you believe anything they tell you.

I'm stronger now though, I'm probably at the strongest point of my life at the moment - throughout all of that I didn't turn back to old habits, I kept pushing and I kept a positive mindset. I have broken down various times since then, it basically pushed me to the point of having anxiety attacks almost every day, so I took the initiative to quit my job and find something better suited to me. I finally found the strength to completely cut that person out of my life, and although sometimes I still find it extremely hard to love myself, I am pushing myself every day to do so.

As bad as life can get, I do truly believe it can get better. I have found someone who treats me right, who wants to be around me and who basically treats me like I'm almost perfect. Every time I talk badly about myself he will answer it with something positive about me. I don't know how I did it, but I am so glad I did.

Love yourself, love others, and love the world you live in, because it can be truly beautiful.