Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Positive energy

I really really believe in positive energy. Obviously it doesn't solve everything, and it's ridiculously hard to muster up when you're constantly having a hard time. I'm used to having a hard time, I am, but I think it's really important to try and stay positive in almost every circumstance.

I'm often the first person to think "well, nothing good is going to come of this, this sucks (blah blah blah)" and I can get in really horrible, negative head spaces, but I think with a great variety of things that happen you can find some positive element within it.

I know quite a few people with mental illness, I struggle with horrible body image and it often becomes so bad that all I want to do is rip the skin and fat off my body - but these are the things that me (we) have to work on.

When I think of waking up every single day and feeling like a whale, when every flaw I have is magnified and it often stops me from having fun, I imagine myself at 24 (I don't know why that age), when I will have worked constantly on accepting myself for who I am, and I imagine that I will have finally accepted myself for who I am. Right now it fucking sucks that I have to deal with it, but in the end, something good will hopefully come from it.

Anyway, this has been a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but I think it's really important to always hold on to hope - it's so dire to believe that one day things will be better. Those thoughts will keep you pushing through today and tomorrow and probably the next couple of years, but one day it will be worth it, and you will be so glad you stayed positive and pushed on.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

"You're gay"

I just need to get something off my chest - why is "you're gay" even considered an insult? I mean, for something to be an insult it actually has to be insulting, right? 
I don't really understand the use of this as an insult. I would consider someone saying "you're gay" as an insult on the same ground as someone saying to me "you like the colour pink" or "you have blonde hair", it's not something you can change. 

I understand that it has been derived from total homophobia, but we're supposed to live in an age where the majority of people are supposedly for gay rights, so, why are people still using the words "gay" and "f*g" as insults?

I would also like to know why the main argument for gay rights is "it's not a choice" (actually, if I'm asking questions, I'd like to know why there has to be an argument at all). I absolutely understand that it's not a choice, but even if it were, there is nothing wrong with loving someone, or wanting to love someone, of the same sex. I mean, "straight" people don't miraculously decide that they're going to be straight, so why would anyone decide to be gay, bisexual, queer, transgendered etc. 

Where do you even draw the line between straight, gay, queer etc.? Someone could consider themselves straight, but also view someone of the same sex "hot" or attractive, so would that immediately make them queer or bisexual? I don't know, but I don't think it's anyone's business if it's their life. 

I think if people of the LBGTQ community have to "come out", then shouldn't straight people have to as well? Shouldn't we all have to tell people "what" we are? 

I'm sick of society telling everyone they prove themselves or defend themselves for what they are. I'm tired of gay being used as an insult or a synonym for shitty. It's not. It's awesome to be gay, or straight, or queer, or transgendered, or bisexual, or anything if that's what you are.

There's nothing better than being you, and no one should ever have to apologise for that.


Friday, 4 January 2013


I'm sure many, thousands of people, feel like this, but I don't think it's talked about enough.

I think the magic of music is something indescribable, the way in which a song can really make you feel. I think that's ridiculously awesome (excuse the lack of intelligent adjectives, but I'm a teenager so 'awesome' seems to be fitting).

The fact that I can listen to Calgary by Bon Iver and be taken back to April when I saw them perform is amazing. Or the fact that I can listen to Mumford & Sons and have a rush of emotions make their way into my insides that I felt while I was living in America.

How does that happen? I honestly don't understand how I can feel so much just due to instruments and voice combined. 
I mean, feelings associated with songs, no matter what the song, are amazing.

I've realised, recently, that to calm myself down I can listen to Demi Lovato. I honestly don't care if people would consider that "lame" because she's helped me through so much. Just having her on in the background makes me feel better.
A few nights ago I was experiencing absolute anxiety over nothing in particular and it wasn't going away - I put on Miss. Lovato and, although it didn't vanish, it eased. 

I think people often underestimate the power of music. I'm not arguing that it can cure cancer or bring world peace - but it can make people feel better about not only the world but also themselves, and I think that's pretty darn great.